Students are always wanting stories, not just ones to read, but to hear. Not audio stories that circulate, but stories of your very own life. How you have survived incredible things. And to keep them contained in the library on a Friday afternoon, verses terrorizing the hallways before the end-of-classes bell, you tell them the stories of your life.
How you fell off a ski lift through the air 50-or-so feet, swiveled in mid-air to be facing downhill, crash-landed in perfect Olympic downhill format with knees tucked slightly, and cross-country skied smack into a service fence. How you brushed off the snow and waved to cheering spectators.
How you exited a high speed lift at the top of the mountain, one boot and ski facing upward in the correct fashion, the other catching upside down so that you were in perfect split formation and proceeded to ski, doing the splits, backwards, down the mountain.
How your floor length skirt got caught in an escalator and ripped the skirt from your body. How you landed in the men’s tie department, where there was nothing but ties and wallets and cuff links, nothing to clothe yourself with, and you were forced to run through the department store and out to your car. How you were so low on gas, that you had to stop at the pump for more, in your undies. How passerby looked on in pity, thinking you were crazy, contemplated calling the police. How you lived in fear the whole thing was somehow caught on shoplifting video, and would air on television to the entire nation.
How it all went back to childhood, really.
How you fell into an underground river system when you were a their age, and were rescued by friends who stripped down to their birthday skivvies in mid-winter and tied their coats, scarves, sweatshirts, jeans, and flannel shirts together to form a rope to pull you up, and out, and into the light.
How you fell off your horse, one time, and landed on your head. Therefore, all equestrians in the bunch should wear helmets.
How your horse, also, fell into an underground river.
How you were shot at one time, for trespassing.
How, after receiving permission from the environmentalist property-owner to hike on his property, you were caught in a cross-fire between southern redneck poachers trying to hunt illegally, and the sheriff and his men. How you and your mother had to keep lying down and covering up with leaves, as you made your way up the side of a mountain to escape. How the gun shots reverberated from the valleys to the cliff rocks, and sounded like you were escaping soldiers in the American Civil War.
How, on the trip-of-a-lifetime to Australia, you were electrocuted by a kangaroo fence for not listening to instructions, and going through the gate to photograph the kangaroos like all the other sensible Japanese tourists. But how could you have heard the instructions when you were busy leaping over all of the bus passengers on a two-story bus, so that you could beat them to the fence, zoom your lenses through and get the classic shot before the mob disturbed the docile creatures? How, it was amazing the electrocution didn’t occur immediately, because you were not grounded, (a wonderful opportunity to work in a science lesson) because you had jumped with all fours onto the fence, like an animal. How, it wasn’t until after you had zoomed the lens through a square in the wire fence, and pushed the metal button, that the fence fried your camera and sent you reeling into a pile of kangaroo manure. How you awoke to sympathetic Japanese tourists, who assisted you back onto the bus, and wiped you down with SARS cleanliness wipes and attempted to stop your camera from hissing and beeping. And, to make it worse, your friend saw the whole thing, and got some of it on video. How, it is very intelligent to listen to and abide by instructions.
How a cute, cuddly Koala bear you just had to hold in the jungle, peed all over you because he did not want to be cuddled, and you got a rash. Fortunately, you posed for pictures with the Koala bear, as well as the Python wrapped around your neck, which had to be wrestled from your neck by the zoo keepers.
How the cruise ship left you alone on the Great Barrier Reef in your photographic chase of Nemo, and you had to swim hard in your flippers to catch up to the boat, a speck in the distance. How the crewmates had to hoist you up and over the rail, where you flopped like a drowning fish having downed the entire Indian Ocean in your attempt to escape a desolate certain encounter with a Great White Shark. Fortunately, you did get a picture of Nemo with your underwater camera, so you bring in said photo of Nemo as proof.
Students wonder if I am really an FBI agent in disguise. I assure them.
How it just isn’t enough to read a bunch of books.
How you feel the need to get out and explore the world you read about, even if you are very accidental by nature. They too, should read their books in their hammocks, and enjoy the outdoors.
How they must have books to read over the weekend -- perhaps the outdoorsy books by Gary Paulsen, and hunting stories like Big Red. Several boys are inspired to check out books and have adventures, and the bell rings, and the door opens and the students charge into the halls, leaving the library still standing. Mission Accomplished. Mission Complete. ---

I am firmly convinced there is a dead animal in one of the walls of our master bedroom. The smell is so distinct, I moved to the den for a spell, swore I'd never sleep in the smelly bedroom again, that the floor in front of the fire would do nicely, after all, this is the way tribal folk sleep in the far corners of the globe. Sleeping on the floor changed my perspective on the issue of smell. Chris had to assist me off the floor the next morning, and I had to wear a brace to hold my shoulders in place the remainder of the day. The straps run under the shoulders. I asked if I looked sexy, and Chris said I did resemble an FBI agent. The other bedroom is covered in hunting gear. This all reminds me of when my sister tracked down a smell in the attic, to a hunting jacket, and a dead quail in its pocket. Come to think of it, didn't Chris go on that same hunt? Living with a hunter in my midst... I could rewrite those vows. Instead of to have & to hold, they should be, to clean & to fold, from this day forward, in fragrance and in stench...

Karat

KARAT, A FELLOW BOOK WORM, RECOMMENDS THE FOLLOWING:


VICTORIAN LITERATURE
If you like Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte and Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier, try
My Cousin Rachel by the same author, told from a man's perspective,
The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield (contemp.Victorian),
The Sisters Mortland (contemp.Victorian),

RUSSIAN LITERATURE
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy (perhaps his finest)
Dr. Zhivago by Boris Pasternak

CHRISTIAN ROMANCE
Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers,
The Daughters of Fortune series (set during WW II) by Judith Pella,
The Mark of the Cross by Judith Pella,
The Crown and the Crucible, and the rest of this Russian series, by Judith Pella

LITERARY READS
Atonement by Ian McEwan,
Alibi by Joseph Kanon,
The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay,
Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier
Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt,
The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden

AFRICA
Out of Africa by Karen Blixen,
West With the Night by Beryl Markham,
The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay,
Horn of the Hunter by Robert Rourke,
The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje
Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kinsolver

SPY/ESPIONAGE
Glenn Meade's Books are factually based:
Snow Wolf,
Brandenburg,
The Sands of Sakkara,
The Unlikely Spy by Daniel Silva,
The Statement by Brian Moore,
Shining Through by Susan Isaacs,
A Gathering of Spies by John Altman
James Bond Books

MURDER MYSTERIES
Any mystery by Agatha Christie, published lately in new hardback copies by Blackdog & Levanthol:
And Then There Were None (an earlier title of this was Ten Little Indians),
Murder on the Orient Express,
Murder in Mesopotamia,
Body in the Library,
Moonlight Becomes You by Mary Higgins Clark

SURVIVAL STORIES
Alive: The Story of the Andes Survivors by Piers Paul Read
Miracle in the Andes by Nando Parrado
Into Thin Air by John Krakauer
The Endurance: Shackelton's Legendary Antarctic Expedition, Caroline Alexand Adrift: 76 Days Lost at Sea by Steven Callahan,
Lost in the Amazon: The True Story of Five Men and Their Desperate Battle for Survival by Stephen Kirkpatrick,
Woodsong and Winterdance, (about running the Iditarod), by Gary Paulsen
Between A Rock and A Hard Place by Aron Ralston
A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson
The Accidental Adventurer: Memoir of the First Woman to Climb Mount McKinley by Barbara Washburn

HISTORICAL
All Quiet on the Western Front, by Erich Remarque (WW I)
The Real Heroes of Telemark, by Raymond Mears (WW II)
The Berlin Diaries by Marie Vassiltchikov (WW II)
Night, Winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, by Eli Wisel (Holocaust)
The Whaleship Essex (true story Moby Dick was based on)

WESTERNS
Shane by Jack Schaeffer
Trail Series by Ralph Compton (Bandera Trail, California Trail, Oregon Trail, Chisolm Trail, etc),
Larry McMurtry Books (Lonesome Dove, Dead Man's Walk, Commanche Moon & Streets of Loredo)

SOUTHERN LITERATURE
To Kill A Mockinbird by Harper Lee,
Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell, and sequel Scarlett
Beaches by Pat Conroy
A Time to Kill and other legal thrillers by John Grisham

NEW ENGLAND STORIES
The Scarlett Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne,
The Crucible by Arthur Miller,
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Ichabod Crane

MISSIONARY BIOGRAPHIES
End of the Spear by Nate Saint,
Bruchko by Bruce Olson,
Peace Child by Don Richardson,
The Savage my Kinsman and Through Gates of Splendor by Elisabeth Elliot,
The Cross and the Switchblade by David Wilkerson

YOUNG ADULTS/Boys
Classics like Jack London's Call of the Wild & White Fang
here the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls
ost of Gary Paulsen's Books: Hatchet, Brian's Winter, Brian's Hunt, River, Woodsong, The Winter Room
Any of Jim Kjelgaard's Books: Big Red, Outlaw Red, Irish Red, Stormy
Most of Will Hobbs Books: Far North, Jason's Gold, Ghost Canoe, Down the Yukon, Wild Man Island
Lost On A Mountain In Maine by Don Fendler
Young Bond Series

YOUNG ADULTS/GIRLS
Holocaust-Related: Diary of Anne Frank, The Hiding Place, Number the Stars, Endless Steppe,
Soul Surfer, biography
Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyers

FANTASY
Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
Lord of the Rings by J.R. Tolkien
The Wilderking Series by Jonathan Rogers
Nightbringer and other titles by James Byron Huggins

SEAFARING

Aubrey Maturin Series (includes Master & Commander) by Patrick O'Brian

AUDIO (these are fabulous to hear, because of dialects)

Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt

Into Thin Air by John Krakauer

A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson